Desire and Calling
Desire can be a tricky thing, mainly because the real objects of our desire can be hidden behind something else. For example, I may desire the respect and adoration and accolades that come with preaching heart-hitting, Biblically sound messages. But that doesn’t mean I desire to be engaged in the work of the ministry. It just means I want people to respect and affirm me. We have to drill down deep within our motives to find what sits and the root of why we long for what we do.
Though desire should accompany one’s calling to eldership, to have desire doesn’t necessarily mean that one has been called.
Psalm 139:23–24 was a helpful passage to memorize, pray through, and meditate upon as I wrestled with my own desire and calling:
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!